I know, it started as a family update blog, not a pregnancy blog

So I'm 37 weeks and ready to die today. I'm just using this blog as an outlet to complain, so if you don't want to read that kind of stuff, then you might as well leave now. I now I'm probably just being a baby and being really silly but my back hurts so bad it makes me want to cry. I had contractions this morning but they went away so I'm not too concerned about those. I read internet posts about people describing back labor and that's what mine feel like but I had back issues before I was even married, due to some adventurous snowboarding (mostly I just fell on my butt and broke my tail bone, when is healed, i pinched a nerve or something, totally off subject) Tim is really hoping it's labor but I'm not really sure what I want to happen. Labor isn't scary to me, it would just be weird to think about not being pregnant and seeing what this poor child actually looks like. That's probably what I fear the most is having a ugly baby. I know most newborns aren't cute when they first pop out, but I just don't know how Tim and my genes will mix. Horrifically probably. and then everyone tells me that when they're your own, you think they are the most beautiful thing on the planet, really if anyone knows me, they know that if something is ugly, like my baby for example, then I'll cop up to it. I won't love it any less, I'll just love something ugly. Anyway, back to how I'm feeling now. Sweaty mostly. I know lovely image, but it's true! I woke up with absolutely no desire to get ready for the day so now I'm sitting in bed typing and smelling like a grease ball with severe back issues. Yay. I also woke up at 1:30 this morning to Penny jumping up on my bed and preventing all the covers from being pulled up, surprisingly enough, I was a chilled temperature this morning and actually wanted to be under the covers. But only for a few minutes because almost immediately Penny snuggled up to my side and instantly warmed the bed up making me the sweaty animal I now am. Exciting I know. It's like a book you can't put down. Or a dead animal you just can't stop looking at and poking even though it smells really bad. You know, which ever.