Wednesday, September 25, 2013

What the...?

So this morning I looked at my phone and scanned through Facebook, because you know, I'm a loser and the first thing I look at on my phone is Facebook. Don't you judge me. You know you do it too.  And someone had posted this video. You know the ones I'm talking about. Someone's good natured effort to rebuff the negative feelings many, if not all women feel about themselves. It's got that soft piano music and some guy whose forehead is way too big, saying nice things that women like to hear. (Honestly to me he looks like a toad, but I guess if a toad were to flatter me I wouldn't only be surprised and possibly scared, I would start to question what a toads spectrum of beauty is.) You know those uplifting things, like "You are beautiful. You are smart. You are funny." Stuff like that. And while it is a very nice message, I personally have to scoff at it. I just think they're cheesy. So I posted a snarky status update and my friends who know me and know my humor, laughed at it and carried on the joke. And an older lady that I knew has to get on and comment " I guess they could say you're ugly and stupid. Would that be better? LOL" Well, actually to me, it might. At least it wouldn't give me any false presumptions that some toad thinks I'm attractive, smart, or funny. At least I wouldn't be looking for some stranger to tell me in a umbrella video to all the other self depressive women out there how great I am. What I would really like is my clothes to fit properly. That would make me feel great. Or my husband to kiss me longer than a nanosecond. But you know what? It's not going to happen by watching some video on Facebook. it made me really think about how much people have invested in the way others view themselves. And yes, there are times that I have relied on the acceptance of others and it kinda makes me ashamed of myself. I know as well as the next person that it's hard to love who are and everything about yourself. But I find myself watching these feel good self help videos and I think to myself, I don't need this. I have a lot going for me. I have my health, I have my family who loves me, I've got my skills that I've been developing, I've got three beautiful children that although they drive me crazy, I love them to the end of anything. I've got my faith in the church, I have my friends, I have my home, I have food to eat and fresh water to drink. You know what? My life is pretty damn good. My hair may not always do what I want it to, my clothes may not always fit the way I want, I may not be in as good shape as I want to be, but I have control over that and I can change that if I want to. I don't need complete strangers to tell me how beautiful, smart and funny I am. I already know that. I want to know that when I do have a bad day I can pass the kids to my husband and go take a long shower, read a book, eat a whole bag of chips, whatever. I know at the end of the day I have my family, my kids, my husband, my home and my life. Bad days come and go. But as long as I can breathe, I can change that. I can be better, for them and for me. So go ahead bad days, come at me. I just bought cookies yesterday that are just DYING to be eaten. :)

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